Hilarious Fake Polling, Attacks on Stupid White Men: Welcome to the Tampa Bay Times

The Tampa Bay Times (until recently, the St. Petersburg Times), fancies itself the New York Times . . . only with sandy beaches and really nice water views.

Despite living in paradise, they work very hard to emulate their northern peers’ biases.  In preparation for the coming RNC convention, TBT‘s crack political staff called up 117 of their best friends and asked them what they thought of Paul Ryan, then pretended it was a legitimate political poll:

Exclusive Fla Insider Poll: One in 3 GOPers worry Paul Ryan hurts Romney in Fla

Note that the “survey” included Democrats, too.  Only 62 claimed to be Republican.  Carry on:

So does Paul Ryan help Mitt Romnney in Florida or hurt him?  Our latest Florida Insider Poll surveyed 117 of Florida most plugged in and experienced political minds – campaign consultants, fundraisers, lobbyists, activists –  and found nine out of 10 Democrats see him hurting Romney in Florida and one in three Republicans agreeing.

Bob in Apalachicola, plus 19 other guys who hang out with these people, are a bit piqued at the Ryan choice.  Not really, but the headline says so.  And remember, it’s not just a poll: it’s an “Exclusive Florida Insider Poll”:

“While I think Paul Ryan was a much bolder choice than I would have thought Mitt Romney would have  made, I think it bodes trouble here in Florida with seniors given the “Ryan Plan & Medicare.” If Cong. Ryan can lay out the plan to seniors without “wonkifying” it,
maybe they have a chance,” said one Republican.

Crowed a Democrat:”Romney has had a problem with Hispanics and Women. Paul Ryan not only
doesn’t help but does harm with both groups. The Hispanics Romney had backing from was the hardliner Cubans, where Ryan voted 3 times to lift the embargo. He does real harm to the ticket with Seniors, while bringing nothing to the ticket overall to expand their
coalition. And on top of how the Ryan budget plays with seniors, it creates opportunities with other issues including cuts to infrastructure (See Everglades restoration), massive cuts to NASA, slashes the farm bill spending on research in things like Citrus greening and canker.”

Lean over to your office mate, pretend he’s an “important Democratic insider,” and let him to reel off an anonymous attack on Paul Ryan chock full of all those vital Florida talking points:


Way to get out of the office by noon.

You can’t make this stuff up.  They do, though.

Meanwhile, the editorial department harbors more than one low-rent Maureen Dowd:

The stories white guys tell themselves

By Robyn E. Blumner, Times Columnist
In Print: Sunday, August 12, 2012

Joan Didion wrote, “We tell ourselves stories in order to live.” I’d modify that slightly for this presidential election year and say, we tell ourselves stories in order to vote. Which is why Mitt Romney maintains a huge lead in the polls among blue-collar white men. . .

White men have been fed the myth of the rags-to-riches, self-made man, the quintessential American narrative that says hard work and perseverance will equate to success. The idea cemented in the male cerebral cortex is that people who start from nothing can work themselves from the Horatio Alger mailroom to the corner office. . .Obama does better among white women and minority voters because they never bought into the self-made-man myth.

Take that, cement cortex myth-believing white men!  And, welcome to Tampa.



1 thought on “Hilarious Fake Polling, Attacks on Stupid White Men: Welcome to the Tampa Bay Times”

  1. Is the “female cerebral cortex” any different? Just equate American principles with the one group okay to demonize and you undermine the whole system. What’s the solution? Socialism of course. Low rent Maureen Dowd is right. She gives women a bad name. Soon there will stereotypes about how illogical women are…

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